Let us try to analyse the following IELTS writing task 1 answer by a candidate.
Question:
You are writing a letter to your friend saying that you have move into a new house. In your letter, writer:
- Reasons for shifting
- Describe your new home
- Invite him to your new home
Candidate’s Response:
Dear Bill,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. As I was busy moving my house, I was’nt able to write to you earlier on.
I’d to move my house in a hurry as the landlord wasn’t extending the rent period. At the last minute, he asked us to find a new place for ourselves.
However, luckily the new house which I found out is really nice. It’s closer to my office and all the necessary amenities are near by. Now I feel, whatever happens is for the good.
Since Diwali is approaching, why don’t you all come here to Mumbai for the vacations? Since this new house is bigger, you and your kids can use the guest room. Also, as mentioned before, as all amenities are near by we all can roam around and have fun.
Awaiting for a positive reply. Charu and Chitra are already excited in hope of spending Diwali with you all.
Yours truly,
Jill
Let us now do thorough analysis of the IELTS writing task 1 above:
Para 1:
Strength:
Greeting statement is written and the news to the friend is mentioned. Statements are error-free and understandable.
Corrected Erroneous Statement:
“earlier on” can be simply “earlier”
Para 2:
Strength:
Reason as per the first bullet point of question is mentioned and statements are error-free.
Corrected Erroneous Statement:
None
Para 3:
Strength:
Sentence connector (however) is used appropriately, sentences are free from grammar, tense or other errors, good sign of vocabulary (amenities).
Corrected Erroneous Statement:
However, luckily, the new house which I found out is really nice.
Para 4:
Strength:
Complex sentences are used, third bullet point in the question is well-written and good paragraphing is there in the whole letter that can provide clarity to the examiner.
Corrected Erroneous Statement:
“the guest room” can be “our guest room”, “Also, as mentioned before, as all amenities are near by we all can roam around and have fun.” should be “as all amenities are near by, we all can roam.”
Para 5:
Strength:
Ending of letter is well written.
Corrected Erroneous Statement:
“Awaiting for a positive reply.” should be ending with exclamatory sign as “Awaiting for a positive reply!” “in hope of” can be “in the hope of”
Expected Band Score: Band 7
Overall, the candidate writes mostly free from errors related to grammar, tense, subject-verb agreement, word choice and others. However, there are sometimes errors related to punctuation but all the questions are well-answered and formatting as well as paragraphing are done well.
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