IELTS Vocabulary: topic vocabulary vs filler phrases

I want to share some advice that I've just given to a student on my member site.

Here's a conclusion that the student wrote:

In conclusion, I believe it is evident to say that there is a great tendency to buy a house instead of renting one which is critically related to two valid reasons as discussed and resulting in positive outcomes both for owners and industry.

And here are my comments:

You're using far too many 'filler phrases' (below). These phrases contain no 'topic vocabulary' at all, so they are not going to impress the examiner.

• I believe it is evident to say that
• there is a great tendency to
• which is critically related to two valid reasons
• as discussed
• resulting in positive outcomes

If we look at the actual 'topic vocabulary' that you used, we only see this single phrase:

• to buy a house instead of renting one

..........

Here's the conclusion that I wrote for the same essay question:

In conclusion, I fully understand people’s desire to own their own homes, and I see this as a positive aspiration.

..........

I hope you can see the problem that I'm highlighting here. Many students think that filler phrases or 'any essay phrases' will help them to get higher scores, but this is not true.

Instead, I recommend that you focus on topic vocabulary and clear communication.